1. What do you mean I have to pay for parking?

2. I wish METRA would sell drinks on trains.

3. My drive-through options per mile double yours

4. I have my own mayor!

5. Friday nights during the fall are exclusive for High School football games.

6. Proud of my figurine stickers on my car back window… humans and pets all in one row.

7. Mom to teenager: No, you can’t take the train to the city… the mall would do.

8. What is the Willis Tower? I took a school field trip to the SEARS Tower.

9. I have my own downtown… and there is even a Starbucks on it!

10. Do you have a Police Blotter on your newspaper? Didn’t think so.

11. Chicago Parking Dibs? Never heard of it.

12. My weekend plans include hitting all state sales!

13. I have my own array of steakhouses to pick from… thank you very much.

14. BYOI…Bring your own iPad to a sport complex during your kid’s tournament.

15. Get jealous of my man cave in my fully stocked basement!

16. Cheer practice is sacred. Volleyball practice is sacred. Football practice is sacred. Soccer practice is sacred. Hockey practice is sacred. Baseball practice is sacred. Basketball practice is sacred.

Playoffs are all we think about.

17. Why drive 40+ miles roundtrip when we have everything here?

18. VENTRA, what?

19. March is a completely acceptable month to take down my Christmas lights.

20. No, you are not invited to my block party.

21. Saturdays are for shopping wholesale. Period.

22. How many trees do you have in your backyard? 

23. Yes, I need 8 seats on my vehicle.

24. Don’t mess with my “Proud Parent” bumper sticker.

25. My house is bigger than yours… take that city people!

Photo: iStock