Ketchup Slices Are Now A Thing

posted by Erik Zachary - 

I'm sick of you all. Honestly. These are ketchup "slices" and they are here to help stop the growing epidemic that is "messy burgers." I remember watching 'The Jetsons' as a little kid (The reruns. Calm down. I'm not that old!) and thinking how the future is going to be so cool! THIS. IS. NOT. THAT. Not only that but somehow you've now got me backing ketchup. I'm from Chicago. I don't even like ketchup. None of us do. But I will not stand for this because the ketchup "slice" is nothing but a gateway drug for all other condiments. You think I want to tear mustard and relish slices in half so they can fit on my hot dog? Listen to how that sounds. Actually re-read that sentence again, aloud, and realize how foolish you feel. Do not let this become a thing!

Erik Zachary

Erik Zachary

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